I am in pain. I am miserable. I just want the pain to end. Or maybe something to numb the pain. I don’t trust anyone anymore. Everyone seems fake to me. I have been through so much. I don’t know if it is all my fault or if i am wrong to blame myself. But I know that I am suffering. I am just surviving this dreadful life. I need your help. Please save me. I need to get some light inside of me. I need my soul to light up. I should be writing this in my diary, right? I should not have lied to my diary. But instead, I wrote that I was fine.
I lied to people. I lied to my diary. But I couldn’t lie to myself, not anymore. I told people that I am fine. I wrote the same in my diary too.
Crucibles change people. Just like it changed me. I became from this happy person to a dark one.
But the truth is, when I tell people that I am fine, I try to look for the same feeling inside of me. I hoped that I would just find it somewhere in me. I look for some light at the end of the tunnel.
I can tell you that I am not fine. I know I am not. Irrespective of how much I say it, I know I don’t mean it. But I am sure of one thing, I am healing. Just as they say, time heals everything. Similarly, time is healing me too. I see scars now, the signs of being healed.
No matter what you go through, don’t forget that things will not stay the same. The situation changes you, but that doesn’t mean that the situation never changes. It gets better. Everything does. The situation creates a better and stronger version of you. Don’t regret it, learn from it. You deserve to be happy and you will be.